Archives for September, 2009

Ah Beng was telling his friend, ‘Yesterday my wife and I had a terrible quarrel. I wanted to go to the club but she wanted to go to the movie.’ ‘Which movie did you watch in the end?’ asked his friend.

A politician was taking his morning walk with his dog. A member of the opposition party happened to walk by and asked, ‘How come you are strolling with a donkey?’ The politician was very angry and he said, ‘Can’t you tell a dog from a donkey?’ The member of the opposition party replied, ‘I didn’t [...]

A mother was scolding her son for having stolen a pencil from school. The father intervened, ‘You must not steal at school; if you need pencils or pens I can always get it for you from the office.”

Two terrorists were driving their car to the spot where they intended to place their bomb. The one in the driver’s seat looked very worried and asked,’ What happens if the bomb we have on the back seat blows up before we get to the site?” ‘Not to worry,” replied the terrorist in the passenger [...]

A group of brave teenagers were having their first lesson in sky diving when one of them asked, ”What if the parachute doesn’t open?” ”That’s ‘, said the instructor grimly, ”what we call jumping to a conclusion.”

Grandpa jogs every morning. One day he fell ill but still insisted on going for his morning run. Grandson: ‘Grandpa, you are sick, you should not run today’ Grandpa:’Jogging is one of the important task I must fulfil everyday.’ Grandson:’If the task is that important, then let me do it for you today.’

A man asked a sailor, ‘Where did your father die?’ ‘He drowned at sea.’ ‘And your grandfather?’ ‘At sea too.’ ‘Aren’t you afraid of the sea?’ The sailor retorted, ‘ Where did your father died?’ ‘In bed.’ ‘And your granfather?’ ‘In bed too.’ ‘Aren’t you afraid to go to bed every night?’, asked the sailor.

The judge asked the two accused, ‘Couldn’t you settle your case out of court?’ ‘We were trying to, but the police came and arrested us.’, they said.

Ah Beng caught a little fish. He held the poor fish in his hand, looked at it for a while, then threw it into the water, saying, ‘Now go home, but I want you here tomorrow with your parents.

Ah Beng went to the doctor to get some medicine as he was not feeling well. ‘Take this strong medicine I am prescribing,’ said the doctor,’ Take one on the first day, then skip a day, take one more on the third day and skip another day and so on.” One month later, the doctor [...]