Archives for February, 2010
An American tourist lost his way in Bangalore (India). He approached two policemen and asked them for the direction to the airport. He first spoke to them in English. They shook their heads and replied, ‘No, English,,,,,ne’ He took out his pocket book and put the same question in French. The policemen continued to shake [...]
Two very drunk men were returning home on a scooter after a drink at the pub. On the way the pillion rider fell off while the other drove home. When he got home he found his friend missing and decided to go back to find him. He found his friend sitting calmly in the middle [...]
A man travelled all the way from Islamabad to Karachi to have an aching tooth taken out. The Karachi dentist asked him, ‘Surely you have dentists in your country? You did not have to come all this way to have your teeth taken out.’ ‘We have no choice. In Islamabad we are not allowed to [...]
A well dressed gentleman hurrying along the road was stopped by an acquaintance, ‘My friend,’ said the accoster, sotto voce, ‘ I must draw your attention to the fact that your fly buttons are undone.’ ‘I know,’ replied the well dressed man, brushing aside his acquaintance, ‘ I am on my way to the income [...]
Two peasants got into a heated argument over which is more important to mankind, the sun or the moon. They put the problem to their village chief. The elders deliberated over the question for many hours before the village chief pronunced in favour of the moon very logically: ‘If there was no moon, we would [...]
A sardarji is lying across the rail tracks with a bottle of whisky and a tandori chicken within reach. A passerby asks: ‘Sardarji, why are you lying on the rail tracks? A train may come any moment and runover you.’ ‘Precisely!’ answers the sardarji. ‘My friend cheated on me and I have no desire to [...]
Two men died and met in paradise. ‘What did you die of?’, asked one man to the other. ‘I died of hypothermia.And what about you?’ ‘I came home one night and heard my wife talking to a stranger. I searched every corner of my house but could not find anyone anywhere. I felt so guilty [...]
A man announced to his friend : ‘ I want to run for Prime Minister.’ His astonished friend asked, ‘Are you crazy?’ ‘Why?’ the man replied, ‘is that necessary?’
A man asked his friend, ‘I’m throwing a stag party. Why don’t you come along?’ ‘Sorry, there is a law against having stag parties,’ replied his friend. ‘What law? I never heard of it.’ ‘My mother-in-law!’ replied his friend.
Why is it easier to be a pastor than a physician? Because it is easier to preach than to practise.
A man went to his audiologist complaining of hearing loss. The audiologist did an audiogram and said he needed a hearing aid. ‘This is the best hearing aid I am recommending to you. I wear one myself’, says the audiologist. ‘What kind is it?’ asks the man. ‘Is almost five o’ clock now!’ replied the [...]
One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have [...]
A man was giving his son a thrashing on the street and shouting, ‘Good for nothing! Stupid!’ A passerby stopped and asked him the reason for scolding his son. The man replied, ‘Tomorrow his examination result will be out and I won’t be in town so I am scolding him first before I leave.’