Archives for April, 2010
A couple was fighting over the custody of their child during a divorce hearing before a judge. The judge asked the toddler, ‘Do you want to stay with your mum or you dad?’ The toddler replied, ‘I will stay with the one who is keeping the T.V. ?’
Ah Seng and Ah Beng , two carpenter brothers were doing a job in Suntec City to set up for an exhibition of paintings by a famous artist. They two of them had a couple of beer during the lunch break. When they resumed work, Ah Seng got hold of a nail, climbed the stool [...]
A senior doctor was making his usual round at the mental hospital when he saw one of the patients holding a fishing rod. He had the end of the rod dangling in the washbasin. Trying to be kind, he asked, ‘Caught anything so far?’ The patient replied, ‘In a washbasin? are you crazy?’
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample and a stool sample." The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?" "What did he say? What’s [...]
1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort. (Involvement with the patient’s suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.) 2. Be cheerful at all times. (Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.) 3. Try to suffer from the disease for [...]
A patient suffering from a nasty cold visited Dr Shears and groaned, saying, ‘ Doc, can you cure my cold? It has been held for me for the last 3 days.’ Knowing that there is no definite cure for common cold, the young over-zealous doctor advised after much hesitation, ‘You may do one thing. Take [...]
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, “Pardon me, sir, but do you [...]
Patient: I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You’ve had an accident involving a bus. Patient: What happened? Doctor: Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? Patient: Give me the bad news first. Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we [...]
‘I struggled with mathematics all my life. As a child, learned to add. As a young man , I learnt to subtract. As a businessman I was a master at multiplying. And now my relatives will divide.’
The school inspector asked the class whether he should ask one difficult question, or two simple questions. A clever student told him to ask only one difficult question. The inspector asked him the place where the first woman was born in Singapore. The boy answered that it was at home. ‘How do you know?’ the [...]
Old lady: ‘People say you are the world’s greatest liar’ Man: ‘You are probably right. But let me tell you, there is no other woman who can match you in beauty at your age’ Old lady:’ I marvelled at how people can malign the most truthful person like you into a liar’
