Archives for February, 2011
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, [...]
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb? 1) "Hmmm … well there’s an interesting question isn’t it?" 2) "Define ‘light bulb’ …" 3) "How can you be sure it needs changing?" 4) Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the light bulb exists.
Boy: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat? Dad: Have I not told you never to say such things during meals? Mum: Why did you ask the question? Boy: It’s because I saw one on daddy’s vegie but now it’s gone.
I don’t recall your face but your breath is familiar.
A woman walked up to a wrinkled, fragile looking old man sitting at the void deck. "I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What’s your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink 2 bottles of Tiger beer every day, eat [...]