Archives for “Husband & Wives Jokes”
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
You get mixed feelings when your mother in law drives over the clift in your new car.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Quote from a woman. “I married what I thought was an ideal man, I got an ordeal and I now want a new deal’
Dear Tech Support Team: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes thattook up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and nowmonitors all other system activities. Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket [...]
Why was Adam created first? Answer: To give him a chance to speak first
Wife: Dont you think our son inherit all my intelligence? Husband: Seems like it since I still have mine
Pastor: Son, what was your fathers last word to you before he passed away? Son: In my family, my mother has the last word not my father.
Wife: How much do you love me? Husband: Darling, I love you much I would do anything for you. If you are about to be knocked down by a car, I would dash forward and push you away and suffer the injury myself. If you are sick I would donate my liver, my kidney, my [...]
Wife: I think you married me because my grandfather left me a lot of money. Husband: That is not true. I don’tt really care who left you the money.
Marriage is a partnership. My wife is the active partner. I am the silent partner.
Son: Daddy, what is a weapon? Dad: Son, a weapon is something you use to fight with. Son: Is mum your weapon?
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Phases of marriage life. 1st Year: The man speaks and the woman listens. 2nd Year: The woman speaks and the man listens. 3rd Year: They both speak and the neighbors listen. 4th Year: Both woman and man speak and their children listen 15th Year: Parents speak but teenage don’t listen 40th Year: Both man and woman are too [...]
Marriage Tip If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
The island of Saipan has beautiful beaches but I heard the sea is full of sharks. I heard this joke when I visited the island many years ago. Children : Mum, why can’t we swim in the sea? Mother: Is too dangerous. The sea is full of sharks. Children: Why didn’t you stop Dad from swimming in [...]
Wife: Honey , don’t you think our son got all his brain from me? Husband: I’m sure you are right because I still have mine with me.