Archives for “Ah Beng”
Why does Ah Beng wear a tie and suit to sleep at night? Answer: He is being prepared because he may meet someone important in his dreams.
Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Ah Beng : Seven! Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Ah Beng : Seven! Teacher: Let’s try [...]
What is guerrilla warfare? Ah Beng: Two apes fighting over a banana
Ah Beng: How should I have played that last shot? Peter: Under an assumed name
Ah Beng wrote to his former girlfriend. Dear Ah Lian, I could not sleep well ever since we broke off our engagement. It is all my fault. You are the world to me. I don’t know how am I going to live on without you. Think of all the wonderful things we had and the [...]
Teacher: Ah Beng, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Ah Beng: Ateacher
Someone sent me this joke about two ‘smart’ drivers. Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one “Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid… you don’t believe? Let me show you.” and he called his driver Ah Beng over and said “Ah Beng, [...]
Colleague: You should use superglue from 3M to stick this picture to the wall. The glue will stick so well that if you attempt to detach the picture the paint from the wall will peel off with it. Ah Beng: The paint I use to paint my house will never peel off. Colleague: What so [...]
During the Q&A segment, the host asks : “Name a drink that begins with the letter ‘G’ The crowd shouts : “Gin! Gin!” Others exclaim : “No, its Grape Juice!” Another smart aleck yells : “Alamak, Gatorade!” Host : “Quiet please.” Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, “C’mon man, you think I [...]
After reading the application form completed by Ah Beng.. Interviewer: ” We have an… opening for you..! ” Ah Beng: “What is it? ” Interviewer: “ The door..!”
Ah Beng ”I took the whole day to fill this salt shaker” ‘Why so long?” Ah Beng, ” it’s so hard to get the salt through those little holes on the top”
Ah Beng called a telephone operator. Ah Beng: “Could you tell me the time difference between Singapore and London?” Operator: “Just a minute…” Ah Beng : “Thank you” and puts down the phone.
Ah Beng went to Kenya with his wife Ah Lian. Ah Lian: Watch it, don’t step on it. Ah Beng: Smells like shit (bend down and dipped his finger into it to check). Good thing we didn’t step on it
Why did Ah Beng smile when the lightning strikes? Answer: He thinks he is having his photograph taken
After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc. Then he comes to column on “Salary Expected”, but he is not sure of the question. After much thought, he writes ” Yes ”
Ah Beng went to a shop to buy a colour TV. Ah Beng : “Do you have color TV ?” Salesgirl : “Yes !” Ah Beng : “Give me a green one, please ”
Ah Beng was arrested by the police for burglary. Police: What did you steal from the victims house? Ah Beng: Nothing. Police: How come you did not steal anything? Ah Beng: Both my hands were occupied. The alarm was too loud and I had to use my hands to cover both ears.
During one of the 5 Star naval exercise there was an argument when 3 Admirals started talking about the bravery of their own soldiers. To prove his point the Australia Admiral ordered one of his Colonel to jump into the shark infested sea near Saipan island to swim 3 times round the warship. The Colonel [...]
Ah Beng: I get very nervous during driving tests! Doctor: You’ll pass sooner or later. So you shouldnt worry about it. Ah Beng: But I’m the examiner!
Ah Beng was packing his golf bag to get ready for his game the next day and his son asked him why he only brings one glove. Ah Beng replied, The weather forecast announced that on the one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot, so I [...]
Why did our Prime Minister jogs in the evening and not in the morning? Ah Beng replied: He is PM, not AM
Ah Beng was in a restaurant and his hand phone rang. He picked it up and said, Hello, how did you know I was here?