Which is faster – cold or heat? Heat, because you can catch a COLD
How do you call a bird with no (i) eye? Brd
Why was the calendar so anxious? Its days were numbered.
How do you get a one-armed dumb blonde down a treee? Answer: Wave to her
Why did the monster cut off the top of his head? He wanted to keen an open mind
What did one magician say to the other? “Who was that woman I sawed you with last night?”
Why do Gorillas have big nostrils? Ah Beng: Because they have big fingers
What do you do if a dumb blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her
Why did the orange go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling (feeling) well.
Where did you learn to swim? Ah Beng: “In the water”
What is a periodic table? A table used only occasionally
What do polar bears have for lunch? Ice burgers
What stories do sailors tell their children? Ferry tales
Can a leopard change its spots? Yes, when it moves from one spot to another.
Teaser Question: What does one eye say to another eye? Answer: Between us something smells!